Youtube Interviews
In this episode of Roadmap to Heaven, guest Doug Barry joins host Adam Wright to discuss the topic of husbands and their duties as outlined in Ephesians 5. The passage in question, which commands wives to be subordinate to their husbands and husbands to love their wives sacrificially, is often met with both controversy and intrigue.
Doug Barry emphasizes the importance of the part of the verse that commands husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church. He shares a heartfelt story of an elderly couple where the wife expressed gratitude to her husband for preparing her to meet God.
Prayer and sacrifice are identified as key elements in fulfilling the duties of a husband. Instead of merely going through the motions of prayer, the speaker encourages having deep conversations with God and turning to Him consistently for strength. Husbands are urged to take the lead in spiritual practices, such as praying the Rosary and participating in devotional traditions, to create a strong foundation in their families.
Doug emphasizes the need for husbands to be willing to sacrifice and submit to God’s will without resistance, just as Jesus did. The crucifix is suggested as a powerful symbol for understanding the meaning of laying one’s life down for their spouse. By having a strong prayer life and seeking the sacraments, husbands can inspire their wives’ confidence and cooperation in important decisions.
In conclusion, this episode of Roadmap to Heaven explores the duties of husbands and the importance of sacrificial love, preparation, and support in leading their families in this life and the next.
Adam Wright:
It’s been a while since we’ve had Doug Barry on the show, and we’re privileged to have Doug back with us again. How are you doing today, sir?
Doug Barry:
Good, Adam. And it is always awesome to be with you, my friend.
Adam Wright:
I know. We’ve got our matching Fatima statues here. It must be a reminder for us to pray the Rosary.
Doug Barry:
Yes. That and that dog you’ve got on the shelf back there.
Adam Wright:
Good old Alan de la Roche was the inspiration for that. “The world is full of ravenous wolves and you, unfaithful dog, have forgotten how to bark”, which was when our Lord was reminding him to preach the Rosary. So before Doug and I jump in here, I don’t think we need to say it. I don’t think we can say it too many times. Pray the Rosary. Got it? That could be the end of story, but it’s not, Doug. Today, we’re going to talk about husbands and the duties outlined by Saint Paul in Ephesians 5. This is one of those “controversial” passages of scripture. Although, I think especially as we move more into the post-modern, post-truth age. Almost all of scripture is becoming controversial if it wasn’t beforehand, and our Lord’s okay with that. So, let’s be controversial today. Ephesians 5: “Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is head of his wife, just as Christ is head of the church. He Himself is the savior of the body. As the church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything.
And most men stop there, like, “Got that, honey? I don’t know if you’re listening right now, but Adam just said it. He was quoting the Bible. You have to be subordinate to me.” And we forget this other part: “Husbands love your wives even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her, to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word that he might present to himself the church and splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” And, Doug, that’s the part we don’t often want to look at, because that means for you and I as men, we’re talking about sacrificial love. We’re not talking about getting everything we could have ever wanted and having our wives show up with a platter of food every day. And “Is there anything else you need, honey?” That’s not at all where Ephesians 5 is going.
Doug Barry:
Right. This is, you’re right, it’s one of those verses that I’ve had women approach me after a parish mission or a conference somewhere over the years, and come up and actually say “That’s the only scripture verse my husband knows, and it’s the only one that he quotes.” And they’re serious about that sometimes. And it’s interesting because it looks for a lot of guys like that’s like a ‘get out of jail free card’ sort of approach that no matter what, “Hey, baby. I’m in charge and you got to do whatever I say.” However, you’re right. That next verse, that next piece of that is so important. And I would always say to men when I would speak at conferences or parish missions or even right now, gentlemen, if you ever wanna know what that means, “Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church”. Stop right there, and just go look at a crucifix, and spend time prayerfully looking at that crucifix and know that’s what it means. As He hung there on that cross, did He complain? Did He whimper? Did He say, “Woe is me. No one understands me.” Did He go through any of that? No. From that cross, He teaches us men what it means to sacrifice in such deep love for our wives.
And the fact that we are supposed to do everything we can to help present our wife to God, without spot, without blemish, without any wrinkle, what we’re talking about here is something, obviously in the end when we stand before God. What have we done to help prepare her? One of my favorite stories is hearing of an elderly couple that was dealing with a very tough moment. The woman was dying. She was lying in the hospital bed and the husband’s there by her side. They’ve been married many years. I’m thinking it was 50-plus years. And knowing she was about to die, it could be at any time. Somewhere in those final moments, she had said to her husband, looking at him, looking in his eyes, “Thank you for preparing me for this moment.” Because everybody knows they’re going to die.
Now this is something we need to be thinking about even we pray our Rosaries. My wife and I, we pray our Rosaries, and I’m always praying that we are helping each other in this world, but also helping each other prepare for the next. So whenever I hear the conversation about “What is marriage mainly about? Well it’s to help each other get to Heaven.” You can’t force your wife, gentlemen, first of all. Ladies, we have to understand that you have to cooperate with the husband, just like we have to corporate with each other, just like we have to cooperate with God. No one can force someone’s will on somebody else. That’s just not the way God has set it up. So you can’t get your husband to Heaven, ladies, and you can’t get your wife to Heaven. You can pray for them. You can sacrifice for them. You can be that Christ on the cross for them. And especially for us men to be in that spiritual role, as the spiritual head of the home, to lay our lives down daily to offer things up. And when we make mistakes, to get ourselves back in that confessional or to get on our knees with deep prayer, and I mean dialogue-type prayer.
I pray daily Rosary. I pray the Auxilium Christianorum prayers. I pray other devotional prayers, but I can go through the line every day and just check those boxes off of getting my prayers in, or I can actually have those moments where I just sit or kneel or lie on my face. And sometimes it’s that posture where we’re sitting on the edge of the bed with our face buried in our hands and just have a deep conversation with God. A lot of my prayer is “Lord, I just I want to hear you. I want to listen. I want to have that open heart.” So if we do that, and looking at the crucifix, gentleman, knowing what our role is there, that will be the best way to help our wives be prepared.
Now the day-to-day is also part of it. Am I getting my wife to confession? Am I making sure that I’m arranging those scenarios and situations for devotional behavior to take place? Meaning, we just celebrated not too long ago the feast of Saint Joseph. The Saint Joseph table is a custom. It’s a Catholic tradition many families incorporate in some parishes into their life. If your wife wants to do the Saint Joseph Table, gentleman, you get on board with that. You help that happen. You take part in that. Bring the table in, set it up, decorate whatever needs to be done. Get the invitations out to the family and friends to come and join in. If it’s something special like the five-first Saturdays or the nine-first Fridays, men, get on board with that. Lead that. Initiate these things, even.
Let’s be the men that say, “You know what? I know what it means to bring peace to my home.” Be the man that initiates praying the Rosary. That’s a key part right there. And I would say, gentlemen, you want to help your wives, you present it to God in the end without spot, blemish, or wrinkle. When you wake up in the morning and realize, “Yeah, I got things to do. It’s a tough day. There’s things that have to happen. I got aches and pains, inside and out. And you know what? That’s okay, because I’m going to deny myself, take up my cross, I’m going to follow Christ. I’m going to lay myself down every day.” And remember this, I think it’s a key point, Adam: is that when Jesus was thrown to the ground to be crucified, they didn’t have to fight Him to get His arms out on that beam to be nailed to the cross. They didn’t have to struggle and wrestle with Him pulling back. He would have extended his hands and rested them there, waiting for this to happen. And this is something to think about in meditating on the crucifix, is the little steps that went along with that.
This is something I also really highly recommend and encourage. I did the passion meditation one-man drama, for 25 years roughly, all over the country, and I would go through this meditation and break this down in detail. And I would find myself regularly finding new ways, as I was meditating the passion and the death of Christ, where I needed to be that in my marriage. And I needed to look at those little nuances, those little details. This is something that, again, gentlemen, you can look at the crucifix over and over, every day, and even every day, go deeper on what that means to lay your life down to help your wife be better prepared. Bringing the devotional life, the prayer life, the sacramental life, the forgiveness, the warmth, the support, the encouragement, the strong leadership, the faithful leadership. Your wives are going to be able to follow you, men. Our wives will follow us better, Adam, if they know and can see that we are deep in prayer. If they know we have a deep prayer life and that we’re begging God for that strength, and we’re going to the sacraments.
Then we have to make a big decision on something. There has to be a spiritual matter or even a physical matter. We have to move, I have to change jobs, what have you. Our wives are going to have a lot more confidence. Why? On a natural level, because they see that we’re turning to God in prayer. On a spiritual level, because God’s grace is operating in that moment. And if we cooperate with that, God does things that we cannot fully understand that can bring peace and order. And therefore, gentlemen, we are preparing our wives to be presented to God without spot, blemish, or wrinkle when they die. To get them better prepared so they hopefully will cooperate to the best of their ability when they stand before God and enter into Heaven.
Adam Wright:
I somewhat shy away from referring to this as a pro tip, because I’ve only been married going on 14 years. I’m no rookie, but I’m no veteran either. I’m in that mid-career if we’re going to go with the sports analogy, but I’ve learned this. Rather than be the drill sergeant and say, “We’re gonna pray the Rosary. We’re praying it right now. This is what we’re doing. I’m the husband. Drop what you’re doing, in the middle of cooking dinner, we’re praying. Well, you should have thought better ahead to not be cooking dinner, because we’re praying the Rosary.” To say, “I think after dinner, what would you think about praying the Rosary together as a family?” I don’t know a wife who is on board with trying to get to Heaven that would say, “Yeah I hate that idea.”
You know, if I went home to Beth and said, “How about right after dinner we just pray the Rosary right there at the table?” I can’t imagine she’d say, “Wow, you’re a fool.” She’d be like, “Thank you. Thank you for asking and for making that a priority,” because she’s got that knack about her, that feminine genius, if you will. And I love that you talk about, Doug, in the sense that it’s not really, like I just said, the drill sergeant and the troops. Although sometimes with the kids, let’s be honest, sometimes with the kids, it’s the drill sergeant and the troops. But with my wife and I, we’re a team.
Doug Barry:
Right. Yeah, you do have to, once in a while – in the right way. In the right way. I want to emphasize that. It’s not about lording authority. You know? The husband is head of his wife, as Christ is head of the church. I was recently talking to a friend of mine, young guy, he’s 20 years younger than me, and I’m encouraging him. There’s a serious situation going on in their family, and they have to make some big decisions. He’s looking for some encouragement for leadership role, and this and that. So we’re talking about this. I mentioned to him, because I know his personality. I know him well enough. He can get pretty gruff and he can get pretty firm. He can get a little a little abrupt in how fast he wants things done from his family. So I said to him, “Remember patience.”
God is patient with us. Christ is very patient with us. Think of how many times many of us – all of us probably have been to confession for the same sin over and over and over again. God is incredibly patient with us. We have to be patient with one another. And I like that you’ve made that point, Adam, because it is a key thing. There are men who get so firm and they get so bold in their leadership, even in this hope to be a Godly leader, but they get so firm and so bold that oftentimes they start putting that foot down in ways that’s just demanding rather than thinking about this. The ultimate goal here is to accomplish the mission. What is the mission? The mission is to get everybody prepared to stand before God on the day we die. And along the way, bring peace and order, contentment, and joy, for heaven’s sake. Let’s go, people. We’re looking for some joy here. It’s not all about the groveling and the kneeling on broken glass. There are moments for extreme penance and prayers. Sure.
But what we’re talking about is in the day-to-day life of a family. For 14 years, Adam, you’ve been through enough rodeos in the family life to know, right? And I would say anybody married longer than a week understands that there are emotional ups and downs, and there’s back and forth. What needs to be looked at is: what’s the overall mission? Well, today my mission is: what kind of peace and order can I bring to my family, right now today? And then the long term is: am I helping to prepare everybody under my roof for Heaven? And what am I doing along the way? Now that could come today for some of us. We just don’t know. Someone’s going to be dying today. And tomorrow. Someone died yesterday. This is just life.
So what is the overall mission? Preparing for Heaven. What is the process of that mission? Peace, joy, contentment, order. Sometimes again, firmness, but always with patience. Always, always with patience. The very fact, Adam – and you and I have talked about Marian apparitions in past conversations – how many times our Lord sends the Blessed Mother, patiently reminding us, lovingly urgently, “Pray the Rosary, convert, turn to my Son.” In all these church approved apparitions, we hear this consistency of patience, but urgency. We need thinking the same thing as husbands and fathers. How can I be patient? But how can I still, as you said, introduce this and bring this, and how do I do this in a way that actually brings a bit of joy and peace in the process of it?
Adam Wright:
Yeah. Exactly. The whole thing is that while this life is going to involve suffering, we don’t necessarily have to bring it upon ourselves, and we should be ready for it when it comes. But the whole thing, as you’re saying this, Doug, I’m thinking, what are those opportunities? What are those opportunities, rather than to come in and say, “You have to do this because I said so” or “Honey, what is it you’re hoping to accomplish today? What’s your schedule like today?” And then looking for those openings: organically, the great time to pray the Rosary together today will be here. Oh, we’re both going to school pickup, and we got to be in the parking lot – I don’t know how it is where you all go to school, but at our kids’ school, if we’re not on the parking lot by 2:40, we’re not going to be on the parking lot for 3:10 dismissal – perfect time to say, “Hey. We’re both in the van here. Let’s pray the Chaplet together.” Or those times to say, “The weather’s getting nicer. Why don’t the two of us go sit out on the front porch, or the back porch or wherever it may be, and just have some time to talk. Talk about life, talk about the kids, talk about all these things, so we can be on board with each other, on the same page and keeping our priorities straight.” So really, what a great endeavor this is: this teamwork of marriage. Doug, I want to talk more about this, but we are out of time today. So I want to see if you’ll come back next week with us, because I want to ask some questions about this “presenting in splendor, without spot, wrinkle, or any such thing”. If that’s alright with you.
Doug Barry:
I’d love to. You betcha.
Adam Wright:
Alright. We’ll have Doug Barry back. We are going to take a break here on Roadmap to Heaven. Don’t go anywhere.
Adam Wright:
It’s been a while since we’ve had Doug Barry on the show, and we’re privileged to have Doug back with us again. How are you doing today, sir?
Doug Barry:
Good, Adam. And it is always awesome to be with you, my friend.
Adam Wright:
I know. We’ve got our matching Fatima statues here. It must be a reminder for us to pray the Rosary.
Doug Barry:
Yes. That and that dog you’ve got on the shelf back there.
Adam Wright:
Good old Alan de la Roche was the inspiration for that. “The world is full of ravenous wolves and you, unfaithful dog, have forgotten how to bark”, which was when our Lord was reminding him to preach the Rosary. So before Doug and I jump in here, I don’t think we need to say it. I don’t think we can say it too many times. Pray the Rosary. Got it? That could be the end of story, but it’s not, Doug. Today, we’re going to talk about husbands and the duties outlined by Saint Paul in Ephesians 5. This is one of those “controversial” passages of scripture. Although, I think especially as we move more into the post-modern, post-truth age. Almost all of scripture is becoming controversial if it wasn’t beforehand, and our Lord’s okay with that. So, let’s be controversial today. Ephesians 5: “Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is head of his wife, just as Christ is head of the church. He Himself is the savior of the body. As the church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything.
And most men stop there, like, “Got that, honey? I don’t know if you’re listening right now, but Adam just said it. He was quoting the Bible. You have to be subordinate to me.” And we forget this other part: “Husbands love your wives even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her, to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word that he might present to himself the church and splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” And, Doug, that’s the part we don’t often want to look at, because that means for you and I as men, we’re talking about sacrificial love. We’re not talking about getting everything we could have ever wanted and having our wives show up with a platter of food every day. And “Is there anything else you need, honey?” That’s not at all where Ephesians 5 is going.
Doug Barry:
Right. This is, you’re right, it’s one of those verses that I’ve had women approach me after a parish mission or a conference somewhere over the years, and come up and actually say “That’s the only scripture verse my husband knows, and it’s the only one that he quotes.” And they’re serious about that sometimes. And it’s interesting because it looks for a lot of guys like that’s like a ‘get out of jail free card’ sort of approach that no matter what, “Hey, baby. I’m in charge and you got to do whatever I say.” However, you’re right. That next verse, that next piece of that is so important. And I would always say to men when I would speak at conferences or parish missions or even right now, gentlemen, if you ever wanna know what that means, “Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church”. Stop right there, and just go look at a crucifix, and spend time prayerfully looking at that crucifix and know that’s what it means. As He hung there on that cross, did He complain? Did He whimper? Did He say, “Woe is me. No one understands me.” Did He go through any of that? No. From that cross, He teaches us men what it means to sacrifice in such deep love for our wives.
And the fact that we are supposed to do everything we can to help present our wife to God, without spot, without blemish, without any wrinkle, what we’re talking about here is something, obviously in the end when we stand before God. What have we done to help prepare her? One of my favorite stories is hearing of an elderly couple that was dealing with a very tough moment. The woman was dying. She was lying in the hospital bed and the husband’s there by her side. They’ve been married many years. I’m thinking it was 50-plus years. And knowing she was about to die, it could be at any time. Somewhere in those final moments, she had said to her husband, looking at him, looking in his eyes, “Thank you for preparing me for this moment.” Because everybody knows they’re going to die.
Now this is something we need to be thinking about even we pray our Rosaries. My wife and I, we pray our Rosaries, and I’m always praying that we are helping each other in this world, but also helping each other prepare for the next. So whenever I hear the conversation about “What is marriage mainly about? Well it’s to help each other get to Heaven.” You can’t force your wife, gentlemen, first of all. Ladies, we have to understand that you have to cooperate with the husband, just like we have to corporate with each other, just like we have to cooperate with God. No one can force someone’s will on somebody else. That’s just not the way God has set it up. So you can’t get your husband to Heaven, ladies, and you can’t get your wife to Heaven. You can pray for them. You can sacrifice for them. You can be that Christ on the cross for them. And especially for us men to be in that spiritual role, as the spiritual head of the home, to lay our lives down daily to offer things up. And when we make mistakes, to get ourselves back in that confessional or to get on our knees with deep prayer, and I mean dialogue-type prayer.
I pray daily Rosary. I pray the Auxilium Christianorum prayers. I pray other devotional prayers, but I can go through the line every day and just check those boxes off of getting my prayers in, or I can actually have those moments where I just sit or kneel or lie on my face. And sometimes it’s that posture where we’re sitting on the edge of the bed with our face buried in our hands and just have a deep conversation with God. A lot of my prayer is “Lord, I just I want to hear you. I want to listen. I want to have that open heart.” So if we do that, and looking at the crucifix, gentleman, knowing what our role is there, that will be the best way to help our wives be prepared.
Now the day-to-day is also part of it. Am I getting my wife to confession? Am I making sure that I’m arranging those scenarios and situations for devotional behavior to take place? Meaning, we just celebrated not too long ago the feast of Saint Joseph. The Saint Joseph table is a custom. It’s a Catholic tradition many families incorporate in some parishes into their life. If your wife wants to do the Saint Joseph Table, gentleman, you get on board with that. You help that happen. You take part in that. Bring the table in, set it up, decorate whatever needs to be done. Get the invitations out to the family and friends to come and join in. If it’s something special like the five-first Saturdays or the nine-first Fridays, men, get on board with that. Lead that. Initiate these things, even.
Let’s be the men that say, “You know what? I know what it means to bring peace to my home.” Be the man that initiates praying the Rosary. That’s a key part right there. And I would say, gentlemen, you want to help your wives, you present it to God in the end without spot, blemish, or wrinkle. When you wake up in the morning and realize, “Yeah, I got things to do. It’s a tough day. There’s things that have to happen. I got aches and pains, inside and out. And you know what? That’s okay, because I’m going to deny myself, take up my cross, I’m going to follow Christ. I’m going to lay myself down every day.” And remember this, I think it’s a key point, Adam: is that when Jesus was thrown to the ground to be crucified, they didn’t have to fight Him to get His arms out on that beam to be nailed to the cross. They didn’t have to struggle and wrestle with Him pulling back. He would have extended his hands and rested them there, waiting for this to happen. And this is something to think about in meditating on the crucifix, is the little steps that went along with that.
This is something I also really highly recommend and encourage. I did the passion meditation one-man drama, for 25 years roughly, all over the country, and I would go through this meditation and break this down in detail. And I would find myself regularly finding new ways, as I was meditating the passion and the death of Christ, where I needed to be that in my marriage. And I needed to look at those little nuances, those little details. This is something that, again, gentlemen, you can look at the crucifix over and over, every day, and even every day, go deeper on what that means to lay your life down to help your wife be better prepared. Bringing the devotional life, the prayer life, the sacramental life, the forgiveness, the warmth, the support, the encouragement, the strong leadership, the faithful leadership. Your wives are going to be able to follow you, men. Our wives will follow us better, Adam, if they know and can see that we are deep in prayer. If they know we have a deep prayer life and that we’re begging God for that strength, and we’re going to the sacraments.
Then we have to make a big decision on something. There has to be a spiritual matter or even a physical matter. We have to move, I have to change jobs, what have you. Our wives are going to have a lot more confidence. Why? On a natural level, because they see that we’re turning to God in prayer. On a spiritual level, because God’s grace is operating in that moment. And if we cooperate with that, God does things that we cannot fully understand that can bring peace and order. And therefore, gentlemen, we are preparing our wives to be presented to God without spot, blemish, or wrinkle when they die. To get them better prepared so they hopefully will cooperate to the best of their ability when they stand before God and enter into Heaven.
Adam Wright:
I somewhat shy away from referring to this as a pro tip, because I’ve only been married going on 14 years. I’m no rookie, but I’m no veteran either. I’m in that mid-career if we’re going to go with the sports analogy, but I’ve learned this. Rather than be the drill sergeant and say, “We’re gonna pray the Rosary. We’re praying it right now. This is what we’re doing. I’m the husband. Drop what you’re doing, in the middle of cooking dinner, we’re praying. Well, you should have thought better ahead to not be cooking dinner, because we’re praying the Rosary.” To say, “I think after dinner, what would you think about praying the Rosary together as a family?” I don’t know a wife who is on board with trying to get to Heaven that would say, “Yeah I hate that idea.”
You know, if I went home to Beth and said, “How about right after dinner we just pray the Rosary right there at the table?” I can’t imagine she’d say, “Wow, you’re a fool.” She’d be like, “Thank you. Thank you for asking and for making that a priority,” because she’s got that knack about her, that feminine genius, if you will. And I love that you talk about, Doug, in the sense that it’s not really, like I just said, the drill sergeant and the troops. Although sometimes with the kids, let’s be honest, sometimes with the kids, it’s the drill sergeant and the troops. But with my wife and I, we’re a team.
Doug Barry:
Right. Yeah, you do have to, once in a while – in the right way. In the right way. I want to emphasize that. It’s not about lording authority. You know? The husband is head of his wife, as Christ is head of the church. I was recently talking to a friend of mine, young guy, he’s 20 years younger than me, and I’m encouraging him. There’s a serious situation going on in their family, and they have to make some big decisions. He’s looking for some encouragement for leadership role, and this and that. So we’re talking about this. I mentioned to him, because I know his personality. I know him well enough. He can get pretty gruff and he can get pretty firm. He can get a little a little abrupt in how fast he wants things done from his family. So I said to him, “Remember patience.”
God is patient with us. Christ is very patient with us. Think of how many times many of us – all of us probably have been to confession for the same sin over and over and over again. God is incredibly patient with us. We have to be patient with one another. And I like that you’ve made that point, Adam, because it is a key thing. There are men who get so firm and they get so bold in their leadership, even in this hope to be a Godly leader, but they get so firm and so bold that oftentimes they start putting that foot down in ways that’s just demanding rather than thinking about this. The ultimate goal here is to accomplish the mission. What is the mission? The mission is to get everybody prepared to stand before God on the day we die. And along the way, bring peace and order, contentment, and joy, for heaven’s sake. Let’s go, people. We’re looking for some joy here. It’s not all about the groveling and the kneeling on broken glass. There are moments for extreme penance and prayers. Sure.
But what we’re talking about is in the day-to-day life of a family. For 14 years, Adam, you’ve been through enough rodeos in the family life to know, right? And I would say anybody married longer than a week understands that there are emotional ups and downs, and there’s back and forth. What needs to be looked at is: what’s the overall mission? Well, today my mission is: what kind of peace and order can I bring to my family, right now today? And then the long term is: am I helping to prepare everybody under my roof for Heaven? And what am I doing along the way? Now that could come today for some of us. We just don’t know. Someone’s going to be dying today. And tomorrow. Someone died yesterday. This is just life.
So what is the overall mission? Preparing for Heaven. What is the process of that mission? Peace, joy, contentment, order. Sometimes again, firmness, but always with patience. Always, always with patience. The very fact, Adam – and you and I have talked about Marian apparitions in past conversations – how many times our Lord sends the Blessed Mother, patiently reminding us, lovingly urgently, “Pray the Rosary, convert, turn to my Son.” In all these church approved apparitions, we hear this consistency of patience, but urgency. We need thinking the same thing as husbands and fathers. How can I be patient? But how can I still, as you said, introduce this and bring this, and how do I do this in a way that actually brings a bit of joy and peace in the process of it?
Adam Wright:
Yeah. Exactly. The whole thing is that while this life is going to involve suffering, we don’t necessarily have to bring it upon ourselves, and we should be ready for it when it comes. But the whole thing, as you’re saying this, Doug, I’m thinking, what are those opportunities? What are those opportunities, rather than to come in and say, “You have to do this because I said so” or “Honey, what is it you’re hoping to accomplish today? What’s your schedule like today?” And then looking for those openings: organically, the great time to pray the Rosary together today will be here. Oh, we’re both going to school pickup, and we got to be in the parking lot – I don’t know how it is where you all go to school, but at our kids’ school, if we’re not on the parking lot by 2:40, we’re not going to be on the parking lot for 3:10 dismissal – perfect time to say, “Hey. We’re both in the van here. Let’s pray the Chaplet together.” Or those times to say, “The weather’s getting nicer. Why don’t the two of us go sit out on the front porch, or the back porch or wherever it may be, and just have some time to talk. Talk about life, talk about the kids, talk about all these things, so we can be on board with each other, on the same page and keeping our priorities straight.” So really, what a great endeavor this is: this teamwork of marriage. Doug, I want to talk more about this, but we are out of time today. So I want to see if you’ll come back next week with us, because I want to ask some questions about this “presenting in splendor, without spot, wrinkle, or any such thing”. If that’s alright with you.
Doug Barry:
I’d love to. You betcha.
Adam Wright:
Alright. We’ll have Doug Barry back. We are going to take a break here on Roadmap to Heaven. Don’t go anywhere.
In this episode of Roadmap to Heaven, guest Doug Barry joins host Adam Wright to discuss the topic of husbands and their duties as outlined in Ephesians 5. The passage in question, which commands wives to be subordinate to their husbands and husbands to love their wives sacrificially, is often met with both controversy and intrigue.
Doug Barry emphasizes the importance of the part of the verse that commands husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church. He shares a heartfelt story of an elderly couple where the wife expressed gratitude to her husband for preparing her to meet God.
Prayer and sacrifice are identified as key elements in fulfilling the duties of a husband. Instead of merely going through the motions of prayer, the speaker encourages having deep conversations with God and turning to Him consistently for strength. Husbands are urged to take the lead in spiritual practices, such as praying the Rosary and participating in devotional traditions, to create a strong foundation in their families.
Doug emphasizes the need for husbands to be willing to sacrifice and submit to God’s will without resistance, just as Jesus did. The crucifix is suggested as a powerful symbol for understanding the meaning of laying one’s life down for their spouse. By having a strong prayer life and seeking the sacraments, husbands can inspire their wives’ confidence and cooperation in important decisions.
In conclusion, this episode of Roadmap to Heaven explores the duties of husbands and the importance of sacrificial love, preparation, and support in leading their families in this life and the next.
We often send out our newsletter with news and great offers. We will never disclose your data to third parties and you can unsubscribe from the newsletter at any time.
Unfortunately, we’re unable to offer free samples. As a retailer, we buy all magazines from their publishers at the regular trade price. However, you could contact the magazine’s publisher directly to ask if they can send you a free copy.
You can create a new account at the end of the order process or on the following page. You can view all of your orders and subscriptions in your customer account. You can also change your addresses and your password.
No, you don’t have to create an account. But there are a few advantages if you create an account.
You never have to enter your billing and shipping address again
Find all of your orders, subscriptions and addresses in your account
Download invoices of your orders
No, we don’t have a physical store location at the moment. We accept only orders through our online shop and we’re shipping all orders with the Swiss Post Service. Please visit our shipping section for more details.
From time to time you will find us at design fairs and popup markets in Switzerland. Subscribe to our newsletter and you’ll receive the latest news.
An initiative of Covenant Network
